The Love You Deserve—From Yourself First
Hi, gorgeous!
February—the official month of love—is here. Whether you’re rolling your eyes at the commercialized romance or feeling the weight of spending it solo, let’s reframe it. This isn’t just about relationships; it’s about the most important love of all—the love you have for yourself.
Why Self-Love is the Foundation of Everything
Despite what our favorite romcoms tell us, you don’t need someone to “complete” you. You are already whole. If you don’t truly love yourself and your life, no relationship—no matter how perfect—will ever feel entirely fulfilling or safe. That’s because deep down, you’ll always be seeking validation from outside rather than from within.
This can show up as:
✅ Settling for less in relationships or tolerating unhealthy dynamics
✅ Overgiving and neglecting your own needs
✅ Feeling insecure, anxious, or afraid of rejection
✅ Struggling with confidence in love, work, and life
So how do you shift this? By doing the inner work. And that starts with transforming the way you see and speak to yourself.
Reframing: The Power of Your Thoughts
If you’ve worked with me in coaching, you know I’m big on reframing. Why? Because words have power. And more importantly, your thoughts create your reality.
Let’s get scientific for a second:
🔹 You have around 60,000 thoughts per day.
🔹 75% of them are negative.
🔹 95% of them are the same as the day before.
No wonder we get stuck in self-doubt and fear! (Source: National Science Foundation.)
But here’s the good news—you can change this.
Practical Tools for Real Self-Love & Confidence
Want to stop repeating the same limiting thoughts and step into real confidence? Try these:
1️⃣ The Self-Worth Reframe
Think of one thing you see as a flaw—something you don’t love about yourself. Now, say this out loud:
“I am enough. Just as I am. Not because of what I do or give—I am enough, right now. I love every part of me, even the ones I see as flaws. I am worthy. I am whole. I am fulfilled.”
Repeat it daily. Yes, daily. This isn’t just a feel-good mantra—it rewires your brain for confidence.
2️⃣ The Relationship Patterns Audit
Struggle with self-worth in relationships? Journal on these questions:
🔹 What patterns do I keep repeating in love?
🔹 Where do I tend to overcompromise?
🔹 Do I seek external validation? Why?
For a deep dive, I highly recommend Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward-Thomas. It helped me uncover the subconscious patterns that shaped my relationships.
3️⃣ Guided Self-Love Meditation
Meditation rewires your brain for calm and confidence. Try a 5-minute morning meditation where you visualize yourself as already whole, loved, and thriving. (Need help? There are plenty on YouTube or apps like Insight Timer.)
Transformation Needs Support—Don’t Do It Alone
If this stirred something in you—good. That means it’s time to do the inner work. And if you’re feeling resistance, that’s a sign you really need to look at this.
Here’s the truth: Real self-love doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens with guidance, accountability, and support.
If you’re tired of showing up as less than in love, work, or life, let’s shift that. I offer coaching designed to help you break these patterns, reframe your mindset, and create a life where you feel truly fulfilled—in body, mind, being, and business.
🔗 Book a call with me at petra@petralaranjo.co.za to start your transformation. Don’t let another year pass in the same cycle.
You deserve this. You are enough. And your future self will thank you.
With love and infinite possibilities,
Petra xoxo
