“Mirror, mirror on the wall…
Why does this trigger me at all?
Show me where I’ve yet to heal.
Reveal the parts I’m scared to feel.”
— Lidiya Ivanova
This powerful reflection question is by my friend Lidiya, who I met at our recent 9D Breathwork retreat in Bali.
It’s resonated deeply with me and those I’ve shared it with because, here’s the thing, every reflection is an invitation to choose differently, and every trigger a nudge….if you’re willing to acknowledge it.
A male client called to let me know he couldn’t make our upcoming alignment workshop. But what he said next is what stayed with me:
“I’ve never done anything like this before… and it’s been incredibly valuable.”
He’s referring to the internal work we’ve been doing with his team—returning to their origin stories, reconnecting to values, alignment, and purpose. He’s part of a new team spread across South Africa and Europe, and I was brought in to support them in creating a connected culture.
What struck me wasn’t just his honesty—it’s that he’s the third man in a week to express a similar sense of frustration, disconnection, or loss of direction.
Here’s what the others said:
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“I don’t know what to do next to get the ball rolling.”
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“I need to tune into my ‘why’ again. I think burnout is more about a lack of desire than too much work.”
And they’re right.
Yes, burnout can come from being overworked.
But more often, it’s a lack of alignment—and that misalignment dulls our energy, dims our clarity, and distances us from our purpose.
A fourth male friend recently said, “You need to focus this work more on men.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot.
While my coaching and workshops are gender-neutral, the EVALUwake Check-In I designed was created with women in mind—but it offers a powerful perspective men often don’t have access to. And they need it. Deeply.
This month is Men’s Health Month. We need to destigmatise conversations around men’s mental health and the lack of resources available to support them.
And so, I ask:
* When last did you step back with curiosity and question your beliefs, identity, or value?
* Have you found yourself running on empty, going through the motions, coming up for air on weekends—if at all?
* Do you feel like something’s off, but you’re not quite sure what?
NB. The longer you avoid what you’re not facing, the more disconnected you’ll feel—from yourself, your relationships, your work, and your future.
That’s why the clarity’s missing.
That’s why you’re frustrated.
That’s why you’re tired.
It’s not just life—it’s misalignment.
So, whether you identify as a man or a woman, here’s what I want you to know:
You could be freer than you feel right now.
And you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
I get that “falling apart” doesn’t feel like an option but facing yourself doesn’t have to mean that you will. You just weren’t taught how. But that’s what I’m here for.
Maybe you’re only ready (or prepared) to dip your toe in. Or maybe you’re open to dig a little deeper. And maybe, you’ve had enough and are ready to go all in!
Whichever phase you’re in, there’s guided support and tools to help get you clear, focused, inspired, and reconnected!
1. Start with the EVALUwake Check-In here – a quick 2-minute guided pause to reflect and reset.
2. Reach out if you’re ready for a more personal, deeper journey. Schedule a call here.
3. And definitely share this with the men in your life—especially the ones who seem to have it all together.
(Because they were taught to hold it together. So were we. The only difference is that we, as women, are “allowed” to feel – even if we blame our hormones for it…but that’s a conversation for another day.)
For now though, pause. Close your eyes (after reading the full guidance 😉 and take a breath.
Look in the mirror and ask yourself,
- “What have I been avoiding?” (Don’t overthink it – first thought that pops into your head – no matter how random.)
- What is this avoidance protecting you from?
- And what is it preventing you from?
- How can things change for the better, if I stop avoiding it?”
And know that support is just one choice away.
Your guide and biggest cheerleader, Petra
