Self-Sabotage: Ten Ways You May Be Dishonouring Your Success and Happiness


SELF-SABOTAGE is a personal decision – a dishonouring of you, your capabilities, your personal growth and ability to create a fulfilling life.

My Parkrun times are taking a leisurely stroll, and my body’s feeling a bit rebellious. The real win? No blame game here! We’re showing up together, relishing movement, fresh air, and the present moment. 🌬️

Now, let me share a recent race revelation. There’s this woman who always stays ahead, and last Saturday, she took FIVE shortcuts, slicing through the trees like a forest ninja. 🌳

Despite my initial benefit-of-the-doubt generosity, it became clear she was playing a different game. Determined to catch up, I did—only to witness her bold avoidance of the final stretch to the finish line. 😲

“The audacity!” I laughed out loud, hoping for a post-race chat to understand her dishonoring approach. This experience sparked thoughts on how we sabotage ourselves, denting our confidence and belief in our incredible selves.

Curious about how you may be sabotaging your success and happiness?

Here are ten things we’re doing, that we CAN consciously choose to change:

1. Lying to Ourselves: When we lie to ourselves about our capabilities, intentions, or the reality of a situation, we undermine our self-worth by building a foundation of falsehoods.

2. Breaking Promises: Whether it’s committing to personal goals, deadlines, or agreements, reneging on promises diminishes self-respect and damages our sense of integrity. The internal subconscious belief becomes “What’s the point of trying when I’m going to let myself down anyway?”
Dishonouring our word – to ourselves and others – validates our belief that we’re not reliable or trustworthy so we live with the expectation that we’ll always let ourselves down so what’s the point of trying?

3. Procrastination: Putting off important tasks and delaying personal growth perpetuates a cycle of self-sabotage. Procrastination can lead to missed opportunities and reinforce feelings of inadequacy. Note that there may be times where, what looks like procrastination, may be a trauma or shock response.

4. The Comparison Trap: Constantly measuring our worth against others and feeling inferior can lead to a distorted self-image which diminishes the recognition of our unique strengths and accomplishments.

5. Ignoring Personal Boundaries: Failing to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships, work, and personal life can lead to a sense of being taken advantage of. Disregarding our own needs and well-being can diminish self-respect and contribute to feelings of powerlessness.

6. Indulging in Negative Self-Talk: Be careful of how you speak to and about yourself because you’re listening – even when you frame it as a ‘joke’. Persistent negative self-talk and self-criticism severely impacts self-esteem. Constantly berating ourselves reinforces a damaging mindset that hinders personal growth.

7. Avoiding Accountability: Refusing to take responsibility for our mistakes and shortcomings prevents growth and self-improvement. Blaming external factors or other people for our problems undermines our ability to learn from experiences and build resilience.

8. Isolating Ourselves: Withdrawing from social connections and isolating ourselves can lead to a sense of loneliness and abandonment. Choosing isolation over seeking support and connection can perpetuate negative thought patterns and hinder personal development.

9. Living in Fear: Allowing fear to dictate our choices and actions limits our potential. When we let fear control our decisions, we miss out on opportunities for growth and self-discovery, hindering our ability to reach our full potential.

10. Neglecting Self-Care: Ignoring our physical, emotional, and mental well-being is a form of self-betrayal. Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, diminished resilience, and a weakened sense of self-worth.

Ready to transform? 🚀 If you’re eager to step into your potential, create a life and business you love, and find fulfillment, I’m here for you. 🌈 Reach out for a personal coaching session, and let’s unlock the extraordinary within you. 🌟 Contact me to embark on this transformative journey.

Your inspirational personal cheerleader and empowerment coach, Petra

Written by Petra Laranjo

Hello, my name is Petra, a Clarity and Confidence Coach, Personal Brand specialist, inspirational speaker, author of 'Living On Purpose' self-help and career development book, founder of the JustOneThing365 social impact non-profit and #rescuedogmom.

15th November 2023

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